Virginia Leaf: Ballads, Odes, Lyrics, Stanzas & Lines in Three Books

Written by Edward Wright Haile

The poet’s foreword says he began all this on one fine day. It must have been finer than morning in an adjacent state by the looks of the result. What a sweep! What a breadth! What a memory! Who’s left out here? Nobody I know. Virginia is 475 miles long but averages half that, which means here we have about one page per mile of her right across. He cautions that a reading voice with the proper pronunciation of “Hanover” and “Henrico” is advisable. So try this —

THE POLECAT PRIZE

RAN OFF ALL OTHERS

Some versifier came and sowed

many a thunderation ode.

This got the Golden Polecat Prize,

the one that draws the market flies,

awarding a chief excellence

that chases all the others hence;

puts to shame and in the shade

the Armadillo Accolade,

and that eternal charnel foist

so-called the yearly critics’ choist.

It strands our thunderation moot

what’s really worth a second hoot.

For some ’twill always be roast beef,

but, after that, Virginia leaf.