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by Lise Stryker Stoessel

If your marriage isn’t working and you’re contemplating divorce, there might be a gentler, less expensive way to reclaim your life and happiness–and renew your relationship. After twenty-three years of struggle, Lise Stoessel and her husband, Emil, knew they were fighting a losing battle. Thus began the experiment that would save and revitalize their marriage: living separately. In this inspiring little book, Lise guides you down her own path to marital and personal peace and offers practical advice on making the decision and taking the first steps. You’ll witness the remarkable transformation of her marriage and discover how separate spaces may help you and your spouse: avoid the trauma and expense of divorce; have a home and a home-life that suit you; grow as individuals and realize your ideals; let go of resentment; appreciate the good in one another; rekindle the romance; turn time together into quality time; learn to date each other again; and be the partner (and person) you want to be!

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Meet the Author

Lise Stryker Stoessel earned her bachelor’s degree in social welfare, specializing in mental health, from Stony Brook University in 1976.  She received a master’s degree in Waldorf Early Childhood Education from Sunbridge College in 2006. Lise has written articles and given numerous talks on a wide variety of issues related to parenting and self-development. Living Happily Ever After—Separately is her first book.

Press Kit


Formats: Hardcover, Paperback

Pages: 112

ISBN HC: 978-1-958754-23-8

ISBN PB: 978-0-9838264-1-5

Release Date: 11/01/2011


“Happily ever after doesn’t always have to mean living under the same roof! This enlightening and useful book offers an alternative approach to marriage in the 21st century for those who love their spouse but can’t stand living with them!” — Arielle Ford, author of The Soulmate Secret

“This beautifully written book is the soulful journey of a couple who, rather than settling for a dysfunctional marriage or divorce, have trail-blazed a third way—living separately and keeping the family unit together—a creative possibility for couples wrestling with two unacceptable choices.” — Mary Elizabeth Marlow, author of JUMPING MOUSE: A Story About Inner Trust

“In sharing her personal journey, Ms. Stoessel presents a creative approach to salvaging love and commitment, the essence of marriage, when living together is eroding this as well as one’s sense of self.… I’ll be giving it to clients struggling in their marriages and considering divorce when there’s still some love, trust and respect, but too much sacrifice of self involved in living together.” — Catherine Johnston, Ph.D. psychologist

“‘Irreconcilable differences’ are the cause of thousands of divorces in this country, as the common separation agreement will attest to. This book demonstrates that irreconcilable differences can lead to an outcome other than divorce … [Stoessel’s] story gives us hope, enlightens our imagination, and strengthens our resolve to create something new for ourselves when our relationship is faltering, rather than letting it end. For anyone thinking divorce is the only way out—read Stoessel’s story, and think again.” — K. Catherine Albano, family law attorney, mediator

“This book speaks for a generation that was determined to do things better than their parents, to be true to themselves in achieving personal goals and creating loving families—to have it all.… Lise Stryker Stoessel gives us a glimpse into the pain and joys of her generation’s struggle in the family with gender roles, financial realities, and the lack of models for positive alternatives to the patriarchal model.… The hope we find here is that it isn’t too late; the ‘boomers’ are still working on changing old and destructive patterns that have kept past generations from both freedom as individuals and the connection we long for with others. Getting past the either/or thinking that has told us we must resign ourselves to what is, or reject it totally, opens up new possibilities for creative and fulfilling relationships, families, and communities.” — Susan Oberman, family and community mediator

“Living Happily Ever After—Separately is a rich account of honoring the profound call to connection that doesn’t fit neatly into our culturally prescribed boxes. Ms. Stoessel’s commitment to her soul call as a guiding purpose for these connections and her unique way of honoring both her own voice and her enduring love for connection with her family is a powerful testimony that can offer creative alternatives for individuals looking for hope and professionals walking with people facing relationship distress.” — Annmarie Early, Ph.D. Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

“Poignant and insightful work…. It’s about hope, and learning through living, and trying again….I applaud her and her family’s bravery and would gladly recommend this read to individuals and couples on the brink who are not quite ready to throw in the towel (or who at least wonder if there are any options of last resort). There are certainly some pearls of wisdom and beacons of hope in here for them.” — Tziporah Rosenberg, Ph.D. Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

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